Registration to Our Spring Quiet Retreat is Open!

Do you long for time alone with the Lord? Are you working through a big decision? Wondering what steps to take next? Tired? Anxious? Seeking guidance? 

We want to meet you in the quiet. If you’re local to the Clark County area,  join us on Friday, May 2nd to grow in relationship with Christ, spend time in His Word, seek His will, and be still in His presence.

There will be no obligations or demands to meet as a leader, mom, wife, boss, employee, friend or caregiver – Just a few hours of uninhibited time to sit, rest, and hear God’s voice revealed through Scripture.

If a retreat like this is new for you, be assured that there will be adequate guided practice and direction. If Christ-centered meditative retreats are familiar to you, know that you will have plenty of freedom and space.

Our prayer is that you would simply come and be open to how the Lord will speak.

Read below for the details, invite some friends, and be sure to register early. Space is limited due to the intimate nature of this event.

We look forward to retreating with God alongside you.
 


Date: Friday, May 2nd, 2025

Time: 9:30am to 2pm – Please plan to arrive by 9:15 and commit to staying for the duration of the retreat. 

 Location: We will email you the exact address upon registration, but note that the retreat will take place outdoors at a private residence/acreage in northeast Clark County (98604). The commute may take up to 30 minutes from the Vancouver area. 

 Cost: $30 – The fee includes all materials, snacks, beverages, and a nutritious catered boxed lunch. Contact us if the cost would hinder you from coming. 

What to Bring:

  • Your Bible 
  • Pens or pencils
  • A reusable mug/container/bottle for warm and cold drinks 
  • A blanket to wrap up in 
  • Your notebook from previous retreats if you have one
  • Weather conducive and comfortable clothes –  A hiking trail is available, so wear appropriate footwear if you want to go for a walk
  • A favorite folding chair (optional). Portable seating is limited and you may want to move around the beautiful property. We’ll have a few available if you don’t have one.

How to Register: 

  • Email us at ariseministriescollective@gmail.com. Simply share your first and last name and tell us that you’d like to attend the Spring Retreat. We will follow-up with an email letting you know that we received your registration and have confirmed your spot. 
  • Secure your spot by paying the $30 fee for materials/lunch in one of the following ways:
    • To use a credit card, visit our website and look for the Donate button near the bottom right of the main page. You can also link directly to our Paypal account by clicking here. Please be sure to note “Spring Retreat” under Special Instructions, and click the box that allows us to access your email address for follow-up.

If you’d prefer to pay by check, please make it out to Arise Ministries Collective and indicate that it’s for the Spring Retreat. Checks can be mailed to our Treasurer at the following address:

                      Attn. Lee Ann DeRoos
                      19909 NE 122nd Circle
                      Brush Prairie, WA, 98606

  • Please understand that while we know plans change, we use the registration fee to pre-purchase your lunch, snacks and supplies. We only charge what we believe will cover the cost of the day. Fees can’t be refunded, but your spot is transferable. 

Unraveling Pride: Embracing God’s Invitation to Genuine Surrender 

Something was off.

I returned to my room and couldn’t shake the feeling that something was bothering my soul. “What was that verse again and why was it prickling me,” I thought.

The retreat started much like others I had attended. The leader shared a passage from scripture, and we prayed over our time together. However, this particular retreat was meant to be different. I was there to learn how to lead silent and prayer retreats. Having attended retreats in the past, I thought I knew what to expect. What I didn’t anticipate was God calling me out for my pride. 

As the retreat leader read aloud, my heart ached. Shrugging it off, I took a deep breath and listened intently – wanting God’s words to ring true.

I listened, sat prayerfully, nodded, and whispered “Yes, Lord”. Yet, I could feel a sense of resistance within me. 

“My heart is not proud, Lord, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me. But I have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content. Israel put your hope in the Lord both now and forevermore.” ‭‭Psalm‬ ‭131‬:‭1‬-‭3‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Later in my room, I unfolded the piece of paper given to me during the morning session – Psalm 131 inked on the page. The passage confused me, so I pulled out my phone and looked up the word “haughty.”

“Arrogantly superior and disdainful,” I read aloud.

My gaze landed on the bell tower outside my window as I felt the presence of God. In my spirit, I felt God’s gentle nudge toward dismantling my lofty goals and surrendering to the unknown. But I knew it was more than surrendering, I needed to be completely content with the outcome – regardless of my own expectations.

Pride is a tricky thing. It shows up when we’re not expecting it – weaving its ugly, yet beautifully disguised, tentacles into the most vulnerable parts of one’s soul. Often it can be unnoticed for quite a while.

God wants to lead us to His kingdom work, where His glory shines the brightest and the only explanation is pointed directly back to Him. Our pride can slowly fester, decaying our chance of Him leading us. We get in the way. More importantly, it jeopardizes our personal relationship with our Almighty God. Pride can keep us from the One we’re longing to be closest to – Jesus.  

“Before a downfall the heart is haughty, but humility comes before honor.” ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭18‬:‭12‬ ‭NIV‬‬

In God birthing a dream and ministry within me, I inadvertently became focused on aspects that made the ministry more about me rather than about others and their relationship with our Triune God. My desire for ministry began to intertwine with pride. I wanted to host retreats that left attendees saying, “That was the best retreat I’ve ever been to!” Instead, my goal should be for people to say, “Wow, I needed that time with God. He’s so good to me.” 

I now understand that the resistance I felt during the retreat was God nudging me to recognize my pride. 

God has great plans for our lives and he invites us into His works. He invites us to collaborate with Him so that He can show off his extraordinary love.

Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.” Mark 10:27 NIV

He doesn’t desire our achievements; He longs for our hearts. The Holy Spirit reminded me that my hidden pride was obstructing His guidance and preventing His love from shining through me.

It’s not always easy to fully surrender, letting God lead us with unconditional contentment – like a weaned child. But I’ve also seen the fruit of trusting God wholeheartedly. He shows up in big ways. He shows up in ways that show off His glory. He shows up in ways that can only point back to His love, mercy, and grace.

I’ve watched God’s provision prove to be faithful in times when finances were tough for my husband and me. I’ve seen God open doors I never thought possible. My heart has been softened during painful moments where unexplainable peace covered me. 

Throughout these experiences, I have come to realize that God’s counsel in our lives is often a gentle invitation to a deeper connection with Him. Who are we becoming in the process as He walks with us in the journey? As I reflect on how God’s presence, I am reminded that these moments are not just about our circumstances but also about our readiness to embrace what He is calling us to. 

In your ministry, whether it’s in motherhood, an office, a church building, or on a sidewalk ask yourself, What is God inviting you into? Do you sense any unseen pride that gets in the way of God leading you? 

 

About the Author
Austi Baudro is an artist and spiritual director living in the beautiful Pacific Northwest with her husband and two sons. A recent call to surrender everything inspired Austi to start her small business, Robe and Crown. Her mission is to help others prayerfully consider what God is inviting them to do. Through her art and messages, Austi hopes to encourage people by guiding them back to their relationship with God.

Robe and Crown is an online shop filled with scripture art and products such as devotional art prints, greeting cards, notebooks, and more. You’ll discover meaningful items and gifts, all featuring scripture art to draw you into God’s invitations.

Are you seeking a simple yet practical way to reconnect with the love of God? Download our free guide, “Breath Prayer Practice: 20 Breath Prayers for Your Everyday Life.” This practical resource will walk you through the practice of using breath as prayer, featuring the inspiring Robe and Crown art. DOWNLOAD HERE

Follow Robe and Crown @robe_and_crown on Instagram and https://www.facebook.com/robeandcrownmin on Facebook

 

Expect Conference – Meet the Main Session & Workshop Leaders

We believe in together, and think you might, too.

Use this link to join women from around Clark County and the greater PDX area for EXPECT – an interchurch conference that desires to explore who God is and better understand what we can expect as Christ-followers. Participants will enjoy food, fellowship, worship, solid teaching, and interactive workshops from local leaders. Please register early as capacity is limited and workshops are offered on a first come basis.

  • WHO: Women (13 and older)
  • WHAT: EXPECT – A two-day women’s conference
  • WHEN: Friday, March 14 (7-9 pm) & Saturday, March 15 (9 am-3 pm)
  • WHERE: Vancouver Church – 3300 NE 78th St, Vancouver, WA 98665

Cost: We want all women to be able to join us, and make every effort to provide the lowest price possible. Register before February 4th for $55 (includes all materials, generous refreshments during our community times, dessert Friday evening, light breakfast and a full catered lunch on Saturday, main teaching sessions, workshop sessions, and worship). Price will increase to $65 after February 4th. Students qualify for a special discount.

About Saturday’s main session speaker:

 

Learn more about Shelbi’s story here.

About Friday’s main session testimonial speaker:

About our main worship leader:

About the workshop leaders:

 

 

 

 

Join Us For EXPECT: An Inter-church Conference That Explores Who God Is and What We Can Expect As His Followers

Register here to join Arise Ministries Collective and women from around Clark County for EXPECT, an inter-church conference that desires to explore who God is and better understand what we can expect as Christ-followers. Participants will enjoy food, fellowship, worship, teaching and interactive workshops from local leaders. Register early, as capacity is limited and workshops are offered on a first-come basis.

WHO: Women (13 and older)
WHAT:  EXPECT – A two-day women’s conference
WHEN:  Friday, March 14 (7-9 pm) & Saturday, March 15 (9 am-3 pm)
WHEREVancouver Church
COST: $55 (early bird rate; January 14-February 4) // $65 (standard rate; February 4-February 24)

*Cost includes: workshops, main teaching sessions, worship, all materials, light refreshments and dessert on Friday, light breakfast and full lunch on Saturday, and refreshments throughout the conference.

WORKSHOPS

You will be asked to select your top three choices from the following workshops at the time of registration. While we will try to accommodate preferences, allocation will be determined by order of registration and workshop capacity. Participants will attend two workshops at the event:

  • Inductive Bible Study: Growing Closer to God as You Learn to Observe, Interpret, and Apply Scripture with Judy Friesen
  • Using Your Voice: Tips and Ideas for Creating a 20-Minute Gospel-Centered Message with Kirsten Galanter
  • A Tired Mind: Finding God’s Peace in Anxiety with Beth Claes
  • Leaning Into Lament: Embracing the Presence of a Trauma-Informed God with Marnee Alfson
  • Mission Possible: Understanding and Living the Great Commission with Becky Hurley
  • Waiting Well: Finding Strength for the Journey Through Heartbreak to Hope with Eka Frimpong
  • Time With Jesus: An Hour of Guided Prayer with Melissa Olson (*Please note: you will not need to pray out loud during this workshop)

**IMPORTANT: If you are only planning to attend the main sessions and NO workshops, please select that option during registration so we can accurately place other registrants in their desired workshops.**

**Follow us on Instagram to see pictures of our workshop leaders and read their bios.

MAIN SESSION SPEAKERS

Shelbi Shutt is a pastor, speaker, writer, and disability advocate who has given her life to teaching and empowering people to encounter God’s presence in and through their weaknesses. Shelbi has had the opportunity to share her unfolding story of steadfast hope with thousands of people across the country, igniting joy and resilience wherever she goes. Shelbi currently serves as the Pastor of Gathering and Teaching at A Jesus Church in Portland, Oregon, while pursuing her Masters at Western Theological Seminary. Alongside her work in the local church, Shelbi has been a collaborative partner with Alpha, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, The Fuller Youth Institute, BibleProject, and the Canadian Church Leaders Network. Shelbi lives in Portland, Oregon with her husband, Jordan and their pup, Cas You can connect with her on IG @shelbishutt

Ali Gadbaugh is a homebody, wife, and mom who is dedicated to her family and a fierce mental health advocate. Born and raised in the PNW, she likes to add a little sarcasm and humor to life, loves coffee and her French Bulldog, and is committed to deepening her relationship with the Lord and seeking His voice through His Word. 

WORSHIP LEADER

Becca Alexander Pickrel is a worship pastor, musician, and a born and raised Portlander. She fell in love with Jesus through singing and believes music has the power to bridge any gap. She is passionate about leading people into the presence of God and drawing them closer to Christ. Becca is a runner, has two children, and loves to lead worship alongside her husband Ryan.

SCHEDULE

Please note that the main sessions will begin promptly at their scheduled times. Plan to arrive early enough to park, check-in, and take advantage of opportunities for fellowship and/or prayer if desired.

Friday, March 14, 2025

  • 6:15 pm    Check-In  | Light refreshments available
  • 7:00 pm    Main Session | Worship & testimony (Ali Gadbaugh)
  • 8:30 pm    Closing  | Followed by dessert & fellowship

Saturday, March 15, 2025

  • 8:15 am     Doors Open / Prayer Opportunity | Light breakfast
  • 9:00 am     Welcome / Prayer / Worship
  • 10:00 am   Workshop Session A
  • 11:00 am    Lunch / Fellowship
  • 12:15 pm   Workshop Session B
  • 1:30 pm     Main Session | Worship & teaching (Shelbi Shutt)
  • 3:00 pm     Closing & Exhortation | Prayer opportunity

IMPORTANT

* While we understand that life happens and plans change, materials and food have been pre-purchased based on your confirmed registration. We cannot process refunds of any kind, for any reason.

* Our team is working hard to accommodate workshop preferences and want you to have the best experience possible at the conference. That said, we cannot guarantee workshops and simply do not have the capacity to reassign participants. Please take this into consideration at the time of registration.

* As volunteers trying to create an amazing event at a reasonable price, we must strictly adhere to our registration closing date of Monday, February 24. We will not process registrations after this date or onsite at the event.

 

Breaking the Power of Shame by Beth Claes

The first response to sin, going all the way back to Genesis 3, was shame. After their disobedience, Adam and Eve hid from God. And it is a story we are all prone to repeating in our own lives. Hiding and shame are our natural responses to our own sin, as well as the ways we are sinned against by others. We all war with this to some degree. But for some of us, it becomes a way of life. We begin to believe that if parts of our hearts and lives were seen or known, we would be utterly finished.

I understand that response because I have lived it. I am familiar with the inclination toward hiding anything that feels vulnerable – insecurities, sin struggles, desires, and pain. But it doesn’t stop there. Our relationships with others often reflect how we relate to God. When shame controls us, we try to control the image of ourselves that we present to God, and we hold back the parts that are most in need of him.

This is a battle I fight continually, but it doesn’t control me the way it once did. Finding healing from the depth of my shame is probably one of the parts of my story that gives me the greatest joy. When I remember how lost, full of fear, and self-loathing I once felt – I can’t help but adore the One who saved me that much more.

But how did that happen?

What if you resonate with parts of this? What if hiding feels safer than authentic openness? What if the idea of being fully seen by God and others scares you?

You are not alone, my friend. The gospel is good news for those who hide and bear the weight of shame. But how exactly does Christ heal the brokenness you feel? How do you leave an identity of hiding behind, for one filled with authenticity and freedom?

There is no 12 step plan here, but there is a God who welcomes all who would seek him. From the chapters of my own story, here are some of the paths from which I find hope and healing.

#1

First, I would suggest that you pray very honestly (Psalm 62:8). Talk with God about what you really feel and what you fear. During a time when I was ruled by shame, I remember one day finally coming to terms with the idea that I couldn’t actually hide from God. But it didn’t lead to a beautiful homecoming or the embrace of the Father with a prodigal – at least not right away. No, my resignation to truth was more like defiantly stomping out into the open, and yelling at God that FINE, he could have me! I told him to just get it over with and do his worst. I was sure it was coming. It felt like exposure of the worst kind.

I know that sounds dramatic, but it is truly how I felt- I was terrified and angry. But looking back, I think even my aggressive, fear-filled surrender was a turning point. Because as I turned toward God telling him what I felt about him and myself, I was inviting him to be a part of my life. I was talking to him. I told him that I felt safer with him at a distance. I also asked for his help, while in the same breath admitting I wasn’t sure I wanted it.

It was messy, but I was finally inviting God in (even if it was, “to do his worst”) – and as I did, I was amazed that instead of rejecting or cursing me, he seemed to come closer to me (James 4:8). To this day, when I feel that familiar desire to hide, I try to treat it like an alarm that reminds me to go before the Lord and share my heart with him. I want it to be the signal that compels me to the very opposite of what I once used to do.

#2

The second way out of patterns of hiding is related: Freedom is found in confession (1 John 1:9). Once you start praying honestly with God, there is a natural movement toward confession. In my genuine honesty, I can’t deny the ugly realities of my heart and life.

During that season of painful surrendering to God, it was true that I wanted a life without him, so I told him that. I thought I couldn’t trust him, and that I knew better than him. I told him that too. And eventually my honesty led to acknowledgement of my guilt – the depth of my pride that drove my complaints against God. I asked him to forgive me, even though at the time I still loved my sin more than I loved him.

In those moments I couldn’t fully grasp the goodness of his forgiveness, but God always meets us where we are. He offers us grace even when we aren’t convinced that we need it- through his Word and people around us. I found encouragement in Ephesians 1 and 2, especially verses like 2:4-5 – But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—  

It is his continual kindness leads to genuine repentance (Romans 2:4).

#3

Another path that proved helpful was learning to orient my heart toward who God is and to speak truth to myself. Shame is consumed with itself. Hiding is self-obsessed. In order to change this pattern we need to change our focus and fill our minds with truth about who God is – even if we struggle to believe it.

I find relief from my inclinations toward self-obsession by studying God’s Word to understand who he is. I remind myself that God is trustworthy (Hebrews 10:23; Lamentations 3:22-23). He does not delight in my suffering – he came and painfully died because of sin and the suffering it produces (Isaiah 53:5). He is patient and gracious toward me (Psalm 103:8). I speak these biblical truths to myself, acknowledging that they do not always feel real to me, and asking for God’s help to see them as true. He is faithful in shifting my heart toward himself – and knowing, understanding, and worshipping him.

#4

Finally, I would urge anyone who battles with hiding to bring another Christ-follower along with them. Shame loves darkness. As you pour your heart out to the Lord, engage in confession, and remind yourself of biblical truth – do the same alongside a trusted friend or counselor. First John 1:5-7 reminds us to walk in the light in fellowship with one another, which includes shared confession and mutual encouragement.

If the desire to hide drives your behavior, I want to assure you of the great hope and freedom we have in Christ. When your shame is deep, God’s grace is deeper still. We are fully known and loved by him. His kindness and mercy extends to all who seek him. He comes close to the weak, the vulnerable, and depraved. His love is vast. He, from whom I used to hide, hasbecome my refuge.

“My chains are gone, I’ve been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood his mercy brings
Unending love, amazing grace.”

 

 

 

 

Learning to Wait Well in a Time of Wilderness

Last winter, I married my best friend in an intimate gathering on the third floor of our church on a dreamy December day, fog enveloping us in pure bliss. We spent the week after our wedding in the stunning – and to our surprise, very warm – mountains of Yosemite National Park. Our only agenda was to rest, eat, adventure, laugh and live, and we did just that. It was a dream come true – so many moments carved out for us to simply be together; treasures I immediately stored in my heart for all time.

 Two days after returning home, exactly a week before Christmas, I was unexpectedly laid off from my job. Budget cuts eliminated my position and others throughout the organization. Still shell shocked, I called my husband, drove home, and we lamented for the afternoon, holding space for the complexity of emotions that followed. A roller coaster going up and down on its tracks. A prayer for understanding and peace. A reliance on the Holy Spirit to intercede and speak the words we didn’t yet have.

 I began to wonder, in all my fragile humanness, “Am I simply not enough? How do I keep missing the mark? Will my professional life ever amount to something I can be proud of?” It was a string of questions that scared me; a reality I didn’t feel prepared to embrace.

 Christmas was a welcome place of light and hope and joy. Time with family and friends was extra comforting, and the new year was peeking over the horizon. Something about a fresh start aligning with the beginning of my job search was an encouragement to me. This would be easy, right? I thought that if I could just will a new job into existence, that if I tried hard enough, put in enough hours, or did everything right, an opportunity would soon materialize. Looking back now, I had so much learning to do. So many honest and challenging and illuminating conversations with God awaited me over the coming months. Silent prayer paved the way, as I often didn’t have words.

 A few months into my search, I was reminded of the term “wilderness” through a touching story told by Tyler Staton, a favorite author of mine, a concept Scripture isn’t unfamiliar with. In the gospels, Jesus himself was led into the wilderness by the Spirit and tempted by the devil for 40 days. He knew the pain of hunger and weakness and want, but his responses to the temptor reflect an unshakable confidence in God and His Word. Eventually, Satan offers the entire world to Jesus after a string of other temptations, a deceitfully attractive offer, but one Jesus does not even blink at, rebutting, “Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only” (Matthew 4:10). He did not sin or compromise in light of His humanity. A mark of obedience and allegiance and belief.

 Gradually, my attitude about my job search was being ushered in a different direction. I began to ask, “What would you have me discover in this place, God? This place that feels like my personal wilderness? This time of waiting and mystery?” I began to ask “why” less and knew that I needed to press further into the Father. How could I direct my heart, my affections, my whole being to the Lord? It is indeed what I am created for. 

 St. Brendan the Navigator captures the heart of the unknown and the things that feel so wildly mysterious in his ancient prayer:

“Christ of the mysteries, I trust You
to be stronger than each storm within me.
I will trust in the darkness and know
that my times, even now, are in Your hand.”

Kallistos Ware, an English theologian, says it this way:

“In the Christian context, we do not mean by a ‘mystery’ merely that which is baffling and mysterious, an enigma or insoluble problem. A mystery is, on the contrary, something that is revealed for our understanding, but which we never understand exhaustively because it leads into the depth or the darkness of God. The eyes are closed—but they are also opened.”

I’ve long taken comfort in knowing that the children of God who came even thousands of years before me undoubtedly experienced their own hardships, but knew their Creator and Sustainer. Their words tell a story of a good God, our shared God, who heartens them beyond their lives and deep into their being. While I searched for each new job opportunity, I held their reflections close to my heart.

An afternoon shortly thereafter, the Holy Spirit gently placed Psalm 27:13 on my heart: “I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.”

After several months of long interview processes and numerous rejections, I was fatigued on a soul level. But while I hadn’t expected to be stretched so much by something that I knew wasn’t my identity and presented such a continuous challenge for me, I could still, at any time, call on a multitude of moments turned into blessings – blessings that show an unmistakably powerful God, but also one available to me in even the smallest details.

While I still yearned for answers and opportunities, I knew it wasn’t answers that, in their deceit, could fulfill or make me enough. Each moment of disappointment and every decision made was formative. I’m learning that I can not only wait, but wait well. In my wilderness, He has, again and again, filled me, molded me, breathed new life into me, and strengthened me.

I still don’t have a job offer. I still don’t have answers. But I am set on asking, “God, what would you have me discover in this place? This moment in time that challenges and changes me? This wilderness?”

Psalms Redux, a collection of the psalms transposed from ancient language to a more contemporary one reads Psalm 27 this way:

“Oh that I may dwell in You day by day, moment by moment.
Then peace would be mine.
Then I could persevere when the waters threaten to overwhelm.
Then my eyes would be filled with beauty and my mouth with song.
Then courage and wisdom would carry me to safe shores.”

What song can I sing to You today, Lord? There are so many, and You are worthy of each one.

For Further Study 
  • Psalms Redux was introduced to me through an immersive prayer room experience at my home church, Union Chapel. At the time, I didn’t know I would be picking up something that would instantly prove fruitful. I’ve used it in conjunction with my daily devotional time in the Bible and I continue to find tears welling in my eyes from Carla’s retelling of the original psalms and beauty of her contemporary language. It has accompanied me both in my time of wilderness and abundance, and is a life-giving resource I will always keep close. 
  • While not explicitly mentioned in this article, Tyler Staton’s book, Praying Like Monks, Living Like Fools has been a welcome gem to enliven my prayer life. This has been particularly encouraging in helping me offer more raw and honest prayers to God, especially during wilderness seasons.

 

About the Author:

Megan is captivated by the love of Jesus and delights in participating in God’s work of reuniting Heaven and Earth. She is a wife to her best friend and sweet husband Drew and so thankful for the gift of marriage. Her ideal day would include prayer and a devotional, eating delicious food, a workout or run in the great outdoors, and the company of those she holds dear.

She feels an inherent calling to cultivating meaningful relationships of depth with those she meets and telling stories of the God of joy, peace, hope, beauty, and faithfulness. After giving her life to Christ in her mid 20s, she rejoices in knowing she has found her eternal home, deepest love and ultimate fulfillment.

Podcast 037 – “Healing House: Rebuilding after Separation or Divorce” with Amy Oliver

“Divorced” is a descriptor Amy Oliver never anticipated or planned for. When circumstances left her alone and wondering how she would care for her daughters and rebuild a home for them, Amy began the long journey toward healing and restoration. After a lot of hard work and seeking Christ first, Amy is ready and prepared to pass along the skills and processes that helped her find restoration and put her on a pathway to wholeness.

Whether you’re going through a separation, have been divorced, or know someone who is, this podcast is for you. Listen along and find pertinent information in the show notes below.

Resources
Other Resources Amy Mentions
Additional Helpful Links

“So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while.” ‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭1‬:‭6‬ ‭NLT‬‬

 

About Our Guest: Amy Oliver is a divorced single mom of two teenage girls who is passionate about helping women heal and rebuild life after divorce. She is a realtor in the state of Oregon, a writer/speaker, and the founder of Healing House Solutions, an organization that provides women with financial guidance and advocacy during the divorce process. Amy is a certified divorce financial analyst and trauma informed leader. She brings a wealth of personal experience having done the hard work to heal and rebuild her own life after her 20 year marriage ended. Amy attends A Jesus Church in Tigard, Oregon.

 

 

God’s Will and a Whale: Seeking Answers From the Story of Jonah

I was walking with a dear friend this week and discussing the struggle to understand the concept of God’s will and plan. Like me, she’s endured the painful process of divorce and the wreckage in the family that follows. Was it God’s will for her to marry her husband, or did she hear him wrong? Did God always know that it would end in divorce? Did she need to go through this devastating situation to be refined into the image of Jesus? Was that God’s plan all along? And what of her ex-husband, a former youth pastor who walked away from the church and his family? Did God give up on him? Or maybe more honestly, the question is, why is his life not in total ruin while my friend’s life feels so painful and difficult? Why does it seem he’s enjoying the good life while my friend struggles? 

What about you? What part of your story do you wrestle with God over? Where do you ask that painful question, “Was this your will?” It’s particularly difficult when your question about God’s plan includes the painful consequences of someone else’s poor choices, where their sin becomes your problem. 

As I prayed later that evening, I reflected on my story. Did God know my marriage was not going to last? Was this the only way he could truly reach my heart and turn my head and heart towards him entirely? And in that moment, God brought Jonah to mind—a man who audibly heard God’s will for him and turned the other way. With fresh eyes the following day, I revisited the book of Jonah and realized that I had played the role of every character in the story…except one. 

Wickedness Won’t Win

God asked Jonah to “get up and go to the great city of Nineveh. Announce my judgment against it because I have seen how wicked its people are” (Jonah 1:2). And there lies the first thing I needed reminding of. God sees wickedness, and he isn’t a fan. He sees the husband who has an affair, the abuser who took your innocence, the injustice that is still unresolved, and he wants it to stop. I can rest in knowing that God sees my pain and the impact of someone else’s poor choices. He has a plan to call it out. 

I have been like Jonah – turning my back, running away from God, and causing others in my wake to experience the consequences of my choices and justifying my actions. And being angry in the process about what God’s asking me. It feels unfair. I am confident that I can forge my path while exercising and abusing my free will. 

“But Jonah got up and went in the opposite direction to get away from the Lord” (Jonah 1:3).  God’s plan was for Jonah to go to Nineveh. Jonah planned to get out of town and as far away from Nineveh as possible. Jonah’s free will turned him in that direction. As a result, a whole boat full of innocent bystanders was thrown overboard into the storm of the century. Chaos ensued. They reaped the consequences of Jonah’s disobedience. 

Where There’s a Will, There’s a Wave  

“But all this time Jonah was sound asleep down in the hold.” (Jonah 1:5) 

I’ve been the passenger on a boat tossed in the waves of someone else’s chaos. The seasickness kept me unable to eat or sleep. I threw every ounce of energy at the storm to try and fix it while the person who caused the chaos seemed to sleep right through it. Was that God’s plan for me? To be refined in the fire of someone else’s poor choices? As I look back at God’s originally stated command, it wasn’t for the passengers of a ship to be tossed at sea. But Jonah’s free will brought it to the deck of their boat. “The sailors were terrified when they heard this, for he had already told them he was running away from the Lord” (Jonah 1:10). How do you contend with the Lord whose plan seems to cause chaos at your expense? The sailor’s first response was to “row even harder to get the ship to the land” Jonah 1:13). The proverbial “I can fix this” that so many of us have struggled with. Seeing the wave of destruction coming at us, we put our heads down and exhaust ourselves while trying to improve it. And some of us will do that for years, sacrificing our bodies to save someone asleep. 

Will You Save Me?

Eventually, they realized that in their own power, they would never make it out of this alive. “Then they cried out to the Lord, Jonah’s God. Oh Lord, they pleaded, Don’t make us die for this man’s sin. And don’t hold us responsible for his death. Oh Lord, you have sent this storm upon him for your own good reasons.” (Jonah 1:14)

They threw him off of the ship. 

The storm stopped at once. And it’s important to note that even though the storm stopped at once, the impact of the storm remained. I have to believe that the PTSD from that experience lasted a lifetime for many of those on the crew. There was a financial impact from throwing the cargo overboard. The boat most likely had damage that needed repair. When they arrived at their destination, I imagine some crew members decided to give up shipping altogether and find work on dry land. But also, “the sailors were awestruck by the Lord’s great power, and they offered him a sacrifice and vowed to serve him” (Jonah 1:6). Out of Jonah’s free will choice, outside of God’s original plan, out of the chaos, came a saving belief in God. 

Calm Seas and Chaos

Jonah is tossed off the boat into a calm sea. Did you catch that? “The storm stopped at once” (1:15) means that Jonah, who caused all the chaos, was welcomed into a calm sea. I picture him floating peacefully into the water, almost relieved to be off the boat where the pain of his choices was so evident. I picture the husband who moves out of the family home into his own quiet place, away from the demands of parenting and the tears streaming down the face of the woman he betrayed. And I’m angry at Jonah, and God, if I’m honest. Because while I’m dealing with the storm’s aftermath, he’s tucked into the belly of a whale, safe and sound, with no responsibilities and visible consequences. From the ship’s deck, I can no longer see what’s going on below the surface, giving me plenty of room to create a narrative that makes me feel like I’m getting the raw end of the deal. 

Imagine if that’s where the story ended. How would we feel about God’s plan for our life? In my journey with the Lord, I confess that I find myself stuck in this very place, returning to the deck of that ship. I look at the destruction caused by someone else’s choices and find myself angry. In those moments, it’s important to know that regardless of what happens to the person thrown into the sea, God sees my pain and meets me there. The answer to whether this was God’s plan for me or the result of someone else’s disobedience is no longer my focus. What’s important is God saved me from a storm. I am in awe of his power. And I choose to serve him. No matter how devastating the storm is, God can stop it immediately. 

Waking Up in a Whale

Remarkably, God also extends mercy to the man who ran away. Apparently, the calm waters visible from the sea’s surface were not as relaxing as I assumed. Inside the belly of a whale, Jonah has a change of heart. I imagine that Jonah had moments of incredible terror and extreme loneliness, leading him to contemplate his own slow death. Perhaps for Jonah, his disobedience caused him to come face to face with the knowledge of just how much he needed the Lord. Was that God’s plan all along? I can’t answer that question for Jonah any more than I can for myself. But I know the outcome in Jonah’s case; he cried out, “Those who worship false gods turn their backs on all God’s mercies. But I will offer sacrifices to you with songs of praise, and I will fulfill all my vows” (Jonah 2:8-9).  

As a woman whose husband left, I can not tell you how I longed to hear those words directed toward me – for my husband to repent and accept God’s mercy for him. But that isn’t my story. And I confess I’m sometimes frustrated that God didn’t change his heart. It makes me sad for all the other women I know who are single moms, not by choice but because their spouse chose to walk away. 

In a still, small voice, I heard God say, “Sometimes you’re the whale.” Sometimes, God brings into your life a person who needs shelter from a storm they created for themselves. “Now the Lord had arranged for a great fish to swallow Jonah” (1:17). The whale didn’t do the work to change Jonah’s heart. The whale was simply the safe harbor protecting Jonah from the depths while he reconnected his heart to God. 

Have you ever thought about being the whale? Who or what served as a whale in your own life? What safe harbor allowed you to repent and receive God’s mercy? 

Walking Toward the Wicked

Jonah’s experience landed him on the beach, where he faced a choice. Do I go to Nineveh or try to escape another way? Confession: I’ve been left on a beach facing a similar decision and decided to walk the other way. I’ve experienced God’s mercy for me, thrown up my hands in praise, and vowed to follow him. But when I headed towards Nineveh and saw that evil still existed, a wave of pain still stored in my body from the years of chaos overwhelmed me. My anger (maybe fear) flared again, and I began my return to the boat. 

But Jonah did what God asked him to do. He went and declared, “40 days from now Nineveh will be destroyed” (3:4). I can feel the tightness of my jaw just thinking about the justified rage Jonah felt. You evil people are going to get what you deserve. God’s plan is for your destruction. It’s about time! Their whale had arrived. 

In contrast to Jonah’s songs of praise, the people of Nineveh “declared a fast and put on burlap to show their sorrow” (3:5). Their king implored them “to turn from their evil ways and stop all their violence. Who can tell? Perhaps even yet God will change his mind and hold back his fierce anger from destroying us” (3:8-9). And God changed His mind. He changed His plan. He didn’t carry out the destruction He had threatened. I’m left again to contemplate whether this was God’s plan all along. Or, in their free will, did Nineveh, do I, change God’s mind? 

Altered Plans 

Jonah is angry again. This time for the very thing he praised God for in the belly of the whale: “I knew that you are a merciful and compassionate God, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love. You are eager to turn back from destroying people. Just kill me now, Lord. I’d rather be dead….” (4:3).  The Lord replied, “Is it right for you to be angry about this?” (4:4).

Is it right for me to be angry that God’s plan and will is entirely out of my control? To raise hands of praise when his mercy falls on me but question God’s faithfulness when it falls on someone I don’t think deserving? To create a narrative where I’m the victim while ignoring that He saved me from the storm? I am Jonah. I am the crew member on the boat. I am the whale. I am Nineveh. 

God Will 

The only character in the story I am not is God. And therein lies the genesis of the question my friend and I contemplated on that sunny afternoon walk. What is God’s plan? What is his will? And if the seas of my life are stormy, does that mean God’s plan was for me to weather a storm? When the person who caused our chaos is in calm waters, is our anger toward them justified? If God sees fit to withhold destruction from the very one who caused my pain, do I assume his plan is unfair? 

A still, small voice inside me responds to my questions with compassion, mercy, and unfailing love. 

You are like Jonah; sometimes you’ll follow my lead, and sometimes you’ll run away. My plan covers whatever choice you make. You are mine.

You are a passenger on the boat, negatively impacted by someone else’s choice to run away from me. My plan covers whatever choice they make. You are mine.

You are a whale providing a safe harbor, and you have been sheltered in the belly of a whale. My plan covers whatever choice you make. You are mine.

You are the recipient of the message that your choices bring destruction into your life and the lives of those around you. My plan covers you and those around you. You are mine.

What is God’s will and plan? I don’t know. And I do know. It’s to extend his compassion, mercy, and unfailing love to all of us. To stir up the storm, to calm the storm, to shelter in the storm, and to deposit us on the beach. 

What’s my plan in response? It is to remember that I am every character in the story except God. I can extend compassion, mercy, and unfailing love to others (and to myself) while trusting that God is in control. Remember that God sees the evil, the destruction, and the way to calm the storm. And when necessary, to return to the question as I walk alongside others in my life who also struggle with it. To rest in the knowledge that I’m not alone in the questioning. And when I hit the beach, I breathe in the air, look out over the horizon, and thank God that his plan for me always leads me to Him. 

 

About the Author: Amy Oliver is a divorced single mom of two teenage girls who is passionate about helping women heal and rebuild life after divorce. She is a realtor in the state of Oregon, a writer/speaker, and the founder of Healing House Solutions, an organization that provides women with financial guidance and advocacy during the divorce process. Amy is a certified divorce financial analyst and trauma informed leader. She brings a wealth of personal experience having done the hard work to heal and rebuild her own life after her 20 year marriage ended. Amy attends A Jesus Church in Tigard, Oregon.

 

 

Join us for SHINE: An interchurch conference that explores what it looks like to reflect biblical, Christ-centered faith

Register HERE to join Arise Ministries Collective and women from around Clark County for Shine, an interchurch conference that explores what it looks like to reflect biblical, Christ-centered faith. Participants will enjoy food, fellowship, worship, teaching and interactive workshops from local teachers. In an effort to keep this event small and intimate, please register early as capacity is limited and closes on September 24th. Learn more and see pictures on our IG account. We look forward to seeing you!

 

WHO: Women (13 and older)
WHATSHINE – A two-day women’s conference
WHEN: Friday, October 13 (6-9 pm) & Saturday, October 14 (9 am-3 pm)
WHERE: Vancouver Church
COST: $50 – Includes workshops, main teaching sessions, worship, all materials, light charcuterie and dessert on Friday, full lunch on Saturday, and refreshments throughout the conference

WORKSHOPS

You will be asked to select your top five choices from the following workshops at the time of registration. While we will try to accommodate preferences, allocation will be determined by order of registration and workshop capacity. Participants will attend three workshops at the event:

  • Bible Study Basics: Principles and Practice for Enjoying God’s Word with Eryn Kesler
  • More than Music: What the Bible Says About Worship with Ashley Ainley
  • Give the Gospel: What is the Gospel and How Do I Share It? with Vicky Dillon
  • Praying With Purpose: What the Bible Says About Intercession and What That Means For Me with Kirsten Galanter
  • Healing House: Rebuilding and Redeeming After Separation or Divorce with Amy Oliver
  • Scripture Meditation: Practicing the Discipline of Making Space to Listen and Respond with Sarah Bulkley
  • Intentional Discipleship: Principles and Practices to Help Others Grow in Faith Through Every Season with Angie Forrester and Janell Sorensen
  • Leaning Into Lament: Embracing the Presence of a Trauma-Informed God with Marnee Alfson and Alyssa Zimmerman
  • Created to Connect: Reflecting Christ Through Intentional Communication with Rachel Florip
  • The Sabbath Gift: Principles and Practices to Ensure a Weekly Day of Rest with Abby Conger
  • Total Recall: How to Memorize Scripture and Why It’s Important with Jenae Rodgers
  • Working Women: Principles and Practices to be an Authentic Light in the Places We Work with Meg Byrtek
  • Called to Action: Walking in Obedience to God and Living Boldly in His Calling with Becky Hurley

MAIN SESSION SPEAKERS

Brenna Blain is a wife, mom and contemporary theologian from the PNW. While she speaks to and writes on many topics, Brenna is most passionate about God’s involvement in our pain and personal struggles including mental illness, same sex attraction and abuse. You can connect with her on IG @bunonmyhead.

Lindsey Ponder is a teacher and author passionate about understanding the Bible in its original context so that we can glean its wisdom for our own. A producer at BibleProject, Lindsey manages the organization’s internationally acclaimed podcast. She is currently pursuing a Masters of Hebrew Bible at Multnomah University.

WORSHIP LEADER

Becca Alexander Pickrel is a worship pastor, musician, and a born and raised Portlander. She fell in love with Jesus through singing and believes music has the power to bridge any gap. She is passionate about leading people into the presence of God and drawing them closer to Christ. Becca is a runner, has two children, and loves to lead worship alongside her husband Ryan.

SCHEDULE

Please note that the main sessions will begin promptly at their scheduled times. Plan to arrive early enough to park, check-in, and take advantage of opportunities for fellowship and/or prayer if desired.

Friday, October 13, 2023

  • 5:00 pm    Check-In  | Light charcuterie and refreshments available
  • 6:00 pm    Main Session | Worship & teaching (Lindsey Ponder)
  • 7:30 pm    Workshop Session A
  • 8:40 pm    Closing  | Followed by dessert & fellowship

Saturday, October 14, 2023

  • 8:15 am     Doors Open / Prayer Opportunity | Light refreshments
  • 9:00 am    Welcome / Prayer / Worship
  • 10:00 am  Workshop Session B
  • 11:00 am   Lunch / Fellowship
  • 12:15 pm   Workshop Session C
  • 1:30 pm    Main Session | Worship & teaching (Brenna Blain)
  • 3:00 pm    Closing & Exhortation | Prayer opportunity

IMPORTANT

* While we understand that life happens and plans change, materials and food have been pre-purchased based on your confirmed registration. We cannot process refunds of any kind, for any reason.

* Our team is working hard to accommodate workshop preferences and want you to have the best experience possible at the conference. That said, we cannot guarantee workshops and simply do not have the capacity to reassign participants. Please take this into consideration at the time of registration.

* As volunteers trying to create an amazing event at a reasonable price, we must strictly adhere to our registration closing date of Sunday, September 24. We will not process registrations after this date or onsite at the event.

REGISTER HERE

Sowing What We Want Sprouting: A Reflection on Galatians 6:8

“Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.” Galatians 6:8

I’m not much of a gardener, but I do know this: If I plant tomatoes in the spring and tend to them well, I’ll have a bounty of tomatoes come summer. If I plant carrot seeds, I’ll grow carrots, and if I bury my favorite tulip bulbs before the first frost, I’ll enjoy their vibrant bursts of color for many years after.

What I sow in the garden is what I’ll reap in the harvest.

This was true for the Galatians, too, but in day-to-day life and with an added caveat: what the church planted revealed their motivation and whom they were trying to please – their own fleshly desires or the Spirit of God. The first, Paul said, would yield destruction. The latter, eternal life.

When we truly know Christ and surrender to His will, we die to our old sin nature and exchange it for righteousness (2 Corinthians 5:21, Romans 6:6, Romans 8:13). Gratifying our own indulgences and selfish desires produce a garden that needs serious attention. It should prompt us to ask ourselves some really hard questions about who we’re trying to please and if we’re truly following after Christ.

I don’t know about you, but I try not to plant things my family and I don’t like eating or seeing. The result simply won’t satisfy and the effort will be wasted. Let’s heed Paul’s warning and take the time to look at what we’re planting and growing. Are they seeds that please the Spirit or those that lead to destruction? Let’s make sure the seeds we sow and nurture are the ones we want sprouting.

For Further Study

Read Galatians 5:13-6:7. Make a list of everything Paul mentions that pleases the Spirit or are results of the Spirit.

Read Galatians 5:13-6:7 again. This time, make a list of fleshly desires and the things that lead to destruction.

Circle anything in the lists that reflect who you are and how you live, then ask yourself the following questions:

    • What does this reveal about the seeds I’m sowing? Are they bearing fruits of the Spirit? A bounty of grace, patience, gentleness? If not, why? What is at the root of this problem and needs to change? What am I watering and fertilizing that should have been, as Galatians 2:20 explains, crucified with Christ? Reading Paul’s entire letter to the Galatians would be helpful. 

Finally, re-read Galatians 6:8 and write a responsive prayer. Feel free to use this one and insert your own reflections.

Father, thank you for the gift of salvation through Christ. Forgive me for the ways I try to please my own flesh. I confess to being (insert appropriate words and phrases from your list here) and long for a deep and true faith that pleases the Spirit. Help me believe that you are my everything – That I am nothing without you, and only righteous in you. May I reap a bountiful and eternal harvest for your glory and purpose.  Amen.

 

About the Author: Lisa DaSilva is a wife, mom of two young adults, and advocate for women to love God with their heart, soul and mind as they engage in responsible study of His Word. With an M.Ed in Curriculum Development and a teacher by trade and passion, she writes, speaks, and teaches the Bible to anyone who will read or listen. As the director of Arise Ministries Collective in the beautiful Pacific Northwest, Lisa believes every woman has a voice. She longs for the day when they find freedom to use it for the glory of God and the furthering of His Kingdom. Lisa is a recovering striver, lover of simplicity and thrift store junkie. She often has to convince people she’s an introvert. Just a loud one.

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